One Hell of A Month

October was once my favourite month. This October of the year two-thousand and seven has been shite. I am in my 19th day of cleansing as part of a pact with five of my friends. The rules - no booze, no smokes, no fun from October 1st to October 27th (with one day off which I used in Atlanta) or else you're out 50 bucks. the question is, with only eight days left to go, will I crack? I have a craving to smoke on an hourly basis (when I started, I barely cared about it) and now that it is the week-end, the urge to crack open my twelve dollar bottle of rye is growing.

And Then There's Me

I'm not ashamed of my life, but I am aware that the cool kids will mock me for this post. Bring it on I say!

My life over the last month has been consumed by many things including:

My Impending Uncleness: Quite important to me - I'm gunna spoil that kid
The Ottawa Senators Playoffs Performance: I'm on edge on a daily basis
WEAREMANY: Thanks all for contributing. More polls are on the way and RANK Radio is still in progress
My Job: Duh!
Fatness: Trying to change my eating/lack of exercise habits . . . and only marginally succeeding
Facebook: Oh what a weirdly trivial yet addictive website
CBC Radio 3: A great way to find new music; I needed a new source to discover new bands in the worst way
Experimenting With Alcohol: Vodka and Diet Dr. Pepper, Sea Breezes (Lorne rules), Vodka Martinis, Bushmills, and the Steelback beer library (I’m not proud of this last one)
Re-watching Season 5 of Angel: Jen mocked me for years for watching Buffy and Angel and now she’s hooked
Waiting For The New Buffy Comic: And watching Jen’s reaction as we both watch for the new Buffy comic

Just thought I’d put the log back in weblog is all . . .

The Process (In The Drink)

I tips it to my lips
Take one or two sips
Contemplate my life a bit
Take a second to love the music
Soak in the writing that could be
Then I tips once more
Place a smoke between my knuckles
And light

So Many Expansion Teams, So Little Resources

My quest has now officially begun . . . to see the Ottawa Senators play as many different teams in as many different venues as I can. Last Saturday I saw them play (and beat) the Flyers in Ottawa for the second year in a row. Tonight I got to see them destroy (in Tampa) the Tampa Bay Lightning.

7-2 - damn it was fun! Thanks must go to Duke and company for getting the tickets and being there to support the team (although the four of us know there were only two true Senators fans amongst us). It was an interesting experience to be the guy booing the home team. And I got to meet several Sens fans tonight, most of who actually live in Tampa Bay after moving from Ottawa. Weird.

Sadly, I have no plans to see the Senators play again this season (though I will never, ever turn down free tickets to play-off hockey – hint hint).

As for the future of my quest, I am currently on a limited budget which means if I do not start earning a lot more money in social services soon (insert canned laughter here) I will be quite limited to the number of places I’ll actually get to go see the Sens play. Realistically, I do have a few match-ups in mind for the near future:

The Philadelphia Flyers may get crossed off my list sooner than later due to the (newly named) Aduchan 2006 + Classic. My buddy Bri and I have seen Ottawa and Philly play twice in Ottawa and hope to continue our own fantasy “best-of seven” series next year in the city of broken bells and AIDS flicks.

The Buffalo Sabres and Montreal Canadiens are also potentially do-able destinations. Both teams play relatively close to me and Montreal is truthfully the best city I have ever been to and therefore a desirable place for me to go and watch hockey. As for Buffalo, it sure does have an airport, doesn’t it?

The Atlanta Thrashers could easily find my sorry ass sitting in their stadium in the next couple of years. I worry about this venue however, as it will be tough for me to cheer above the ten Thrashers fans who might actually attend the game.

Finally, I am confident that I will head to New Jersey to see a Devils/Sens game. Tomb Dragomir is a huge fan (and I used to be too) so I know the two of us will head there someday. It’s a fact. I wish I had a joke to insert here, but there is truly nothing funnier than the thought of the Devils beating the Senators. This is also a fact.

For the record, I do happen to live about a 20 minute (on a bad day – and where the TTC is concerned they are all bad days) TTC ride away from the Air Canada Centre. I remain unconfident that I will actually get to see a game there. Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment care more about money than they do about hockey fans. Besides, even if I did have the $160 + to spend on 3 hours of entertainment for my girlfriend and me, I hear there are hookers who offer much more for less . . .

P.S. – I paid $7.50 for an assumed 20 ounces of Budweiser at the Tampa Bay game tonight. I guess the term “paying out of your ass” has no conversion rate.

Dominican Sunrise

Apparently my efforts aren’t as frivolous as I thought. I went online today in order to rediscover the recipe to making a Dominican Sunrise (a drink I had last year at a resort). After a ridiculous amount of Google searches, I discovered one website that had the real ingredients - my own blog! Weird.

I didn’t post the entire recipe however so here is the real mix for a Dominican Sunrise . . .

Pour 1 to 1 and 1/2 ounces of rum into a glass
Add Ice
Pour 1/2 to 1 ounce of triple sec into the mix
Fill the rest of the glass with orange juice (Tang works well too - best even)
Drop some grenadine into the mix to complete the 'sunrise' aspect.

I Owe It To Bukowski

I think I owe it
to Bukowski to someday
dedicate some lines

to him. He hardly
made me who I am today,
but now that I’ve read

him I understand
that somehow the drunken old
bastard stole my thoughts

before I was even born.

The High Cost of Sinning

I had a great time in Florida - it was so very, very nice to have my folks take care of us for a week. They were amazing hosts as always, and it was fun to spend time with my family and friends south of the border.

While I have little to add right now, I would like to point out the ridiculous price difference between American and Canadian booze.

At one point we were drinking 5 dollar pitchers. Damn!

While we were in Florida I bought a 1750mL bottle of Black Velvet rye for the equivalent of $16 - $17 Canadian. The cost of this in Ontario . . . $49.85

We even picked up two 1140mL bottles of Canadian Club rye for $25.00 total (that's under $30 bucks Canadian right now). At the LCBO right now it would cost over 30 dollars for ONE bottle.

The next time you hear about a surplus of tax dollars, remember where it came from.

I Did Not Accept Payola From the Pinery

Camping was goooooooood. If you ever get a chance to go to the Pinery, I highly recommend it. I didn't get to go hiking, but I did get to check out the beach. I usually hate beaches. Aside from being able to jump in the water to cool off, a day at the beach is quite pointless. I can sit at home on my deck with a place to put my beer down and no sand in my underpants and be much happier than if I were at a crowded, shadeless beach. The Pinery beach however is at least nice to swim in and wasn't too crowded. I would definitely go back.

Some Kinda Love . . . Some Kinda Hate

If you are a regular reader of my weblog, you may have noticed that my attitude towards life in Toronto leans a towards being negative. Yet I love living here. Therefore, I’d like to disclose a few reasons I'm happy to be living in Toronto. Of course, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t also include some reasons this city pisses me off.


LOVE (In no particular order):

1. Diversity – so many places to go in this city with a unique feel to all of them (i.e. Kensington Market, Roncesvalles, The Village)

2. Location – travel East or West and you're just a few hours away from Niagara Falls, The U.S. or Montreal; head North you’re setup for some great spots to go wilderness camping or to make a stop at Canada's Wonderland

3. Driving alone the Gardiner – nothing reminds you that you are in Toronto more than driving above the city past the various tourist attractions such as the CN Tower, Sky Dome (that’s right, I said “Sky Dome” and not “Roger’s Centre” – deal with it), and various high rise buildings

4. Toronto parks – the Islands, High Park

5. A lot to do – there is something going on somewhere all the time

6. Indie Cinemas – some are closing but the few that remain show great documentaries and independent films

7. Making a big city seem small – the TTC will, in theory, get you anywhere you need to go (as long as you’re willing to wait long enough to get there – see HATE #4)

8. Buskers - music while you walk is alright by me



HATE (In no particular order):


1. The price of alcohol – we pay too much!! (both in bars and in the beer/liquor stores)

2. The cost of living – groceries and rent alone can make it difficult for a guy paying off his various debts to get by

3. Traffic – mostly during rush hour, but also on week-ends

4. TTC – drivers with attitude, long waits for busses and street cars, frequent disruptions in service, fellow riders who don't shower, rush hour commuters who think only of their own well-being

5. Radio – the agonizing programming on public radio in Toronto makes satellite’s thirteen bucks a month seem quite reasonable

6. Scarborough – need I say more?

7. Cyclists – perhaps learning the rules of the road would be wise if you are going to ride alongside two-ton machines that travel between 50 and 100 km/hr

8. Pushy Panhandlers - I understand they are poor and desperate for money, but that doesn't give them the right to interrupt my dinner on a patio or walk down the street with rude scam attempts to get money to get home to [insert city here]

Steep Spirits

In much better spirits today. I have the nicotine pumping through my system again, my lungs no longer ache, I can walk short distances without breaking down from asphyxiation and the long week-end is finally here. This week-end my beer of choice will be 50, though I may splurge of a 12 of Sleeman's India Pale Ale – damn I love that beer. Sadly it costs way too much.

For those of you living outside of Canada, it may interest you to know that we pay, on average, $35.95 for 24 bottles of beer.

Seriously.

We do have discount beers, the lowest being priced at $26.40 (24 dollars plus our mandatory 10 cent deposit per bottle/can). Alas, these are never the best beers and they usually have a funny taste to them (although Red Cap’s nice).

Anyhew, for the Sleeman's Pale Ale we pay $44.95 for 24 bottles, so you can see why I’m hesitant to buy it. On one hand I feel like you can’t put a price on a beer you enjoy. On the other, I hate sending the message that people are willing to pay for over-priced beers. Sure, it’s not the breweries’ fault. They’d charge less if our government didn’t financially rape Canadians for wanting to have fun.

Grrrrr . . . there goes my high spirits.

;)

Friday Night

As I pushed her drunken shell into the cab
And began to climb in behind her
I grew terrified
For she was drunk and on the urge of vomiting
And with a 20 minute cab ride ahead of us there would be no escape
From the diarrhea stench of liberated fart
Unleashed by the cabbie
Seconds before
I had opened the door

re: guest blogs

We be drunk and at a web-site release party. Many thanks for those dunken peeps who posted. HAHAHA! You thought it was easy to be eloquent. :)

Dominican Sunrise

Does anyone have a recipe for the Dominican Sunrise? My friends and I are having a post-vacation party tonight and I wanted to be able to make one exactly the way they did at the resort. I have searched online and found references but no actual list of ingredients. I know it contains white rum, orange juice and grenadine, but I was sure the bartender at the resort was adding a second type of alcohol. Then again, I was always a little 'runk when I was ordering one and therefore shouldn't put too much faith in my memories. Regardless, if you can confirm how to make the drink please leave a comment below (and before you feel you must let your inner comic loose, yes I do realize that this is a "girlie" drink, and yes I did feel myself growing a vagina the more I drank them, and no I do not know what the prefered spelling of "girlie" is).

Back From The Dominican

I was recently away with 9 other people in the Dominican (near Puerto Plata to be more specific). While I have a lot of stuff I could write about, I don’t want to be the guy who bores the world with vacation stories. Instead I offer you a brief list of crap related to the trip (in no particular order). Think of this as vacation slides without the pictures and drawn out anecdotes:

Julio the tour guide
Jennifer Lopez
Cabarete
Dominican Sunrise
Presidente (although Ambar’s better)
Sosua (So-sucks)
Guiro (not a “meringue”)
Lax
Band-aid Burritos
Beach Dogs
Jose O’Shea’s
Dave’s giant coconut drink
The lazy bartender
6 out of 7 waterfalls
Rapids
Dented ping pong balls in hot coffee
Aqua socks suck (just ask my feet)
Boogey boarding
Wind
Diarrhea
Throwing candy at children
Waves
More waves
Undertow
Nacionales (Suave)
“My friend . . . my friend”
Corn and Hotdog Pizza
Frank Reyes

Joe Ksawn Mi

I spent the last couple of hours writing a post explaining why I have not posted in awhile. It was about a thousand lines longer than this and, in my opinion, perfectly ready to send.

I guess my computer didn't like it because I clicked "publish" and it said "error".

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Now, in an effort to boil my previously lost writings down:

I hate BLOGS and I hate "blogging". Still, I feel like this place is a perfect muse for my thoughts and rants. I must simply avoid the pretention and staleness that is the typical "BLOG" if I am to remain satisfied with my product.

PS - I really wish I still had some 50's left. "Strongbow" tastes like pee.

Hey Mutha' Fucka' Get Paid

I saw Billy Idol at the Amphitheatre on Tuesday night (we showed up late and missed Bif Naked’s set). Apparently, I wasn’t going to write about the evening without some convincing. Cha Right! Billy was really good - especially for a guy who's turning 50 in November. He still possesses a lot of passion for his music and it showed. I'm not a huge Billy Idol fan but I can respect a great performance. If you are a fan and haven't seen him live, you really need to make sure and catch him next time he's around.

While Billy was a great experience, the Amphitheatre was also quite brilliant . . . quite brilliant at sucking. $10.50 per beer and over-priced tickets are tough to take when you’re sitting in the rain watching most of the show on a T.V. screen. I think I’m finished with large venues. For less money I could shove doll-sized instruments into the arms of my old G.I. Joes, turn on my stereo and flick the lights on and off. Give me a venue like the Horseshoe over the ACC or Amphitheatre any day. Maybe I’m just cheap, but there’s something nice about going to a small place that won’t squeeze every last cent out of you. There’s also something nice about paying to see a band and actually getting to see the band.